0 6 Means to Regain Trust

If you are reading this article then it is likely that you have broken someone's trust and are wanting to regain it. The sad reality of trust is that it is something that is hard to gain and yet something that is very easy to lose. You may have spent 10 years or more knowing a person, yet doing one thing that betrays their trust can completely destroy it, causing them to never fully trust you again.  

You can sometimes regain a person's trust but never to just the same as before. If you are serious about regaining someone's trust and are willing to be patient, then you may be able to do it - but it is not something that will happen over night.


1. Apologise

The first and foremost thing that you will need to do is apologise. Having the courage to give a sincere apology means that you are acknowledging that you were in the wrong. If you haven't apologised and are thinking that you can regain their trust...then good luck because if you don't concede you was wrong then why would they entrust you with something again?

2. Listen to them

Take time to listen to them. Before you explain what you were doing or make excuses for what you did, keep your mouth closed and listen to what they have to say. You can listen to how they feel about the situation and the effects it has had. Listening shows that you do care about their feelings and that you are willing to try and make amends - as long as you don't talk over them and shut them down. 

3. Be Considerate

Put yourself into their position and imagine how you would feel if they had done the same thing to you. Would you react how they have? Would you be forgiving of them? Would you be able to trust them again? Ask yourself these questions and really be honest because it will only be yourself who you are lying to. Having a better understanding about what you have done wrong will help you see the situation in a clearer light and will make empathising with them much more genuine.

4. Never Break Promises

This is all about being dependable, and being dependable is what trust is all about. Never break a promise no matter how small a promise you may consider it to be. Breaking a promise is going back on your word and in turn showing to other people that you are untrustworthy and is someone who isn't dependable. Maybe it isn't something that you see as being that much of a big deal but to many people breaking a promise will mean that you can't be trusted. 

5. Restitution

I'm not suggesting that you give them money or anything in order to regain their trust, this will most likely offend them all the more. Money doesn't buy trust. 
If, however, you have damaged something of theirs or lost something (or something similar to these) for whatever reason, giving compensation for them will help make amends. It really depends on the the situation, but make sure that you come across sincere and remorseful when you are broaching this one.

6. Accept that the Process is Slow

The fact about regaining trust is that it won't happen over night, or four or five nights...it can be a lot longer. I'm not going to tell you that in a couple of months everything is going to be fine and dandy again, it may well be and if so; brilliant, but also accept that it may take months or even years for you to regain their trust. I'm not over-exaggerating because trust is one of the foundational things that relationships are built on, and so to destroy that foundation means that you are also destroying your relationship and so it can take a long time to rebuild. Keep this in mind, don't lose heart even if they are angry with you, and keep doing what you can to prove to them that you can be trustworthy.