How to Stop Lying

Lying is certainly a bad thing and is such an easy habit (once you've got into it) to continue and do more and more often, even for those little things that you don't need to lie about. It may sound strange but compulsive lying can become almost like an addiction to some people, and in bad cases sees them going to therapists as a last resort because they can't not lie. If you are in a situation where you need to come-clean about lying, then a post of mine that you may find useful is: How to Tell Someone You Lied.

Lying is one of the fastest ways for you to make a person doubt you and consider you untrustworthy, which is not something (I presume) you would want. Here are some tips to help you stop lying.


1. Ask yourself why you lie

Why do you lie? What is the point of it? Whatever the reason, it normally is a bad habit formed in our younger years which we continue throughout the rest of our lives. Sometimes there is a root reason to why you lie, for example: wanting to get your own way; maybe to make yourself look better; you feel like you're always going to hurt someone by telling the truth? Knowing the reason can help you to make the changes in your life that are going to make it easier not to lie.

2. Think about what you say

Thinking about what you say is easier said than done but is something that is vital if you are trying to stop lying. We have a brain and we know what we are saying or are going to say, so use it to make sure that you don't tell lies and that you use it to speak the truth. You and you alone are responsible for what you say and are accountable for what comes out of your mouth - so before lying about something, stop and think, make the right decision not to lie and tell the truth.

Answering too fast can often cause you to instantly just blurt out a lie, but in reality you don't have to answer in a split-second, you are allowed to take time and think about what you say - you're not going to be in the wrong for doing that. So also make sure that you take the time to think about our answer because if you aren't giving yourself enough time to think then what is the point in trying to think in the first place?

3. Avoid White Lies

While you may consider white-lies to be completely harmless and something that won't hurt anybody, they are still in fact lies no-matter how you sugar-coat them. As they are still lies, telling them still keeps you in the mindset of thinking-up and the telling of lies, which is a mindset you want to try and get away from because if you can think of and say white lies then you will be able to think up and tell 'non-white' lies just as easily.

When I was younger you could have said that I was a compulsive lier and told as many white-lies as I did 'normal lies', and as a result was known to people who knew me well to be a lier - and that was not something that I wanted to be known for. So when I was trying to stop compulsively lying, I made an effort to make sure that I told no 'white-lies' so that I would get out of the habit of lying completely. This did in fact help a lot.

4. Don't make Excuses

When you tell a lie - you've told it and it can't be unsaid. You must deal with the consequences of that said lie (if you come to face any). Excuses are not a valid 'get out of jail' free card and make it excusable for you to have told that lie or to keep on telling them. If you go on that mindset then you can pretty much find an excuse to any lie you could tell.
Excuses are just an excuse to carry on lying and to justify lying, so stop making excuses to why you are lying and accept that you were wrong to have told the lie and it is something you are not planning on doing again. 

5. Reputation

Reputation isn't the be-all and end-all of everything, and that isn't what I'm going to try and argue. What I am going to stress is that what you do will have an affect upon how people view you. So if you tell lies and people know that you tell lies, you are going to get the reputation of a lier - which will lead to people majorly distrusting you. It also includes people who don't know you, if you are known as being a lier, they're already going to have that view of you before even getting to know you properly.

If you do have this reputation and this is one of the reasons why you are trying to stop lying - don't expect it to go away just like that. Restoring your reputation can be a very hard and long process to do once you've destroyed it. Carry on being truthful and over time your reputation as a lier will slowly dissolve.

6. Understand that it may be Considered Hurtful

Getting caught lying and dealing with the consequences is one of the negatives of lying, but sometimes the consequence doesn't just affect you. A lie can sometimes hurt a person on the receiving end very much, maybe because you withheld information and so leads to them feeling like you distrust them or don't value them enough as a person to tell them the truth. In these situations friendships/relationships can be torn apart. You may be thinking that this is an exaggeration but it isn't and is a very real consequence of lying. 

"A lie cannot live"
Martin Luther King, Jr.
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