0 How to Tell Someone You Lied

If you are in the situation where you need to tell someone that you lied to them, it's not an easy place to be. For starters it can ruin the trust that you have between you (which can be very hard to gain back again) and can sometimes even go as far as ruining your relationship/friendship. 
I'm not telling you this to make you feel worse or to intentionally make things harder for you, but if you are in this situation I think it is good for you to know the hard truths that you may face. Don't despair entirely though as this isn't true for every situation but is something that you should be prepared for. Here are some bits of advice to tell someone that you have lied to them.


1. Tell the truth

Tell them that what you have told them is a lie before revealing to them the actual truth. Tell them why you did it, but don't make excuses as this will get on there nerves. For instance, telling them it was because you didn't want to upset them or hurt their feelings is more manageable for them to deal with than telling them that your lying was someone else's fault.  

2. Sit them Down

Don't tell them when they are rushing to be somewhere, but  instead sit them down somewhere relaxing and isn't filled with tension, meeting in a place such as this will help things not become too heated, for example in a coffee shop. 

Once you are both settled tell them the real reason for inviting them to meet up with you and that you have felt bad about something that you have been hiding from them. 
Don't be naive and believe everything is going to be hunky-dory because you told them the truth, it may well go fine and they may forgive you there on the spot, but expect there to be tension and a level of distrust. 

3. Be Honest About your Feelings

Tell them about how bad you feel about what you have done and that you know that it was the wrong thing to do in the situation when you know that the truth would have been much better. Say to them that you have felt awful ever since you hid it from them. Don't overdo it though otherwise it will come across like you are trying to make excuses or are wanting sympathy for yourself.

4. Apologise

Nobody likes to be lied to, it's a horrible feeling and so is deserving of an apology to say the least. Don't just say sorry and expect that things will be fine. A sincere apology, one from the bottom of your heart, will go a long way in the right direction, but don't expect it to fix things, it may take time for that person to look at you in the same light - be patient. Also, make sure that you emphasise that it will not happen again, and then make sure that it does never happen again.

5. Expect their reaction

Knowing that you have lied to them, it is likely that the other party will feel hurt, angry, and/or saddened, so don't be surprised if they react like this. If they are angry don't get into an argument - this will make things much worse. If they are saddened or hurt, don't pass it off like it isn't a big deal as this can have the same effect as arguing. If you aren't understanding of them then it will appear as if you don't think you have done anything wrong...which isn't good if you are trying to make amends.

6. Tell them as soon as possible

The best thing to do is to tell them as soon as possible about the incident, the longer you leave it the more likely you are going to leave it - and during this time they may hear the truth from somewhere else. The truth will be better coming from you than from someone else because it shows that you value them enough to correct your mistake and tell them the truth.